“Believe me, nothing goes right for a woman on her own. I’m on thinking of your happiness, and Fujino’s. That’s my only concern. And therefore I wouldn’t rule out a divorce.”
Why it’s always on women when a relationship comes to an end? The patriarchal system in the society that makes women think they can’t live alone without men by their side almost always urges women to stay instead in an abusive relationship. It’s as if woman can’t and shouldn’t choose their own path in the world.
I’m also made to realize that separation in a relationship ― marriage, is much more complicated than just about love that is no longer there. The cause might be so on and so forth. But when it comes to the consequences, there will be memories hurt to remember, routines that are no longer the same, emotional attachment that might as well be gone, the need of physical affection that no longer be met, not to mention the paperworks that need to be done, and that adding the child who also suffers along through the process without understanding what’s really happening.
Our unnamed narrator is left alone with her only child, a 3 year old daughter as her husband left. Juggling between work, child and household duties, she day by day descends into the darkness of her thoughts. Baffled and exhausted, her role of mothering her only child obstructed resulting in an unhappy and easily tempered daughter. How can she care for others ― her daughter, when she herself is so damaged?
Told from the wife’s point of view, we’re entering her hazy days, slipping between current reality and flashbacks. And this fast changes in narration between past and present are sometimes confusing and make me lost where the story heads. As a result, I need to reread some parts to be able to fully grasp. I also get the sense that narration somehow disengaging (?) ― as in Tsushima wants reader to sympathize with the narrator but also doesn’t really provide what it takes for a character to be fully close to readers. It feels like I know the narrator’s battle, but can’t completely figure out what causes what happens and what she really feels.
And this book reminds me of Ferrante’s Days of Abandonment, though not as impressive in term of the prose. I like it nonetheless. So, if you’re into this kind of topic, you might want to read this one as you will get a deeper look of what it feels battling between prioritizing your needs or your daughter’s.
3.5/5
